Robbie's Place

More Golf

2009-04-23T21:32:00.002-06:00

Welp. Been out three times now. It's good. I'm a bit... frustrated... that I can't golf where my dad and I always did. The courses that I'm golfing are a bit easier than Bon Vivant was, and my scores have shown that. I golfed 18 today in 25 mph winds and I shot a scrambling 90; bogey golf. I was all over the place, but the course was so open and short that it didn't hurt so much. I'm really looking forward to playing with the family over the fourth of July, and friends when ever they're available.

Golf

2009-03-31T16:21:00.002-06:00

At the age of 14 I started viewing myself as an athlete. This was the first year that I was successful at a sport; I was undefeated in the 60, 100, and 200 yard dash. I soon picked up Volleyball and Football and was successful in those as well. I'm sure that my dad had a mix of pride in what I was accomplishing and frustration that his son has surpassed him at those sports... which explains why he continued to push me to golf with him. :)

I wrote off my ineptitude on the golf course, saying that it was an old man's sport, but I continued to go out with dad several times a summer. The obstacles are obvious. As a young man I lacked the patience and the concentration for the sport. In every other sport I was taught to lead with my hips and that the more muscle I used the better my results would be. Neither was true in golf.

It wasn't until the summer after my senior year in college that I began to make any real progress in my dad's sport. I took a summer golf class, read some books, but more importantly I played almost weekly with my dad. Something in me slowed down and began to notice the beauty of the game. It was more than something to be conquered, it was something to be enjoyed. It's played on some of the most beautiful land available, at a fairly relaxed pace, and it brings people together. We got in about three good summers of golf before we found out about dad's tumor. I never even came close to beating him. Last year, at the peak of my dad's cancer, I didn't even touch a club. I have his clubs now. I think it's time for me to pick them up.

Does It Make A Difference?

2009-03-05T23:55:00.002-06:00

I like to think that I'm in the business of helping people. But can one person really help another?

Every day I pour myself into hurting teenagers. I do my best to offer what ever help I can. My clients struggle with problems ranging from anger management to severe depression; sometimes both at the same time. My job is to get them through their crisis so that they are stable enough to carry on with long term therapy. Normally this does not take more than the 90 days that the state gives us to work with them. But sometimes it takes much longer.

I got a call from a client that I worked with for over a year for one stretch, then on and off for another two years, tonight and she is struggling with the same things that we worked on for our three years working together. She has been arrested three times and is thinking about dropping out of school. Apparently we built up enough of a relationship during our time together that she is willing to call and talk to me even though she is no longer my client. (she called the answering services and asked to talk to me; she does not have my number) But a lot of good it's doing!

I suppose that it goes back to my last post. The whole "you can lead a horse to water" parable. I guess that I'm just frustrated that I spend my time pouring myself into my clients and I rarely see any progress. And more often than not when I do hear about their progress, it's to hear that they are still tripping over the same stumbling blocks.

Maybe I should view my job the same way I view my call from Christ. I'm called to love people, no matter what. That way I can unconditionally offer help with out that being tied to a motivation to see any change.

Thinking Deeply

2009-02-24T11:39:00.002-06:00

I feel old. I know that I'm not. I hope that I haven't reached mid life yet. But sometimes my head switches into "this is what's wrong with the world" mode, which I associate with people with considerably more experience than myself. I'll try to post about my most recent "this is what's wrong with the world" thoughts later. I'm home for lunch and I don't have as much time as I would like. But this is something that those thoughts led me to.

Time is a freaking jerk.

It never stops and it rarely is kind. Sure. It provides experience for those who take advantage of it. But by the time you have the experience, you are already passed the place where it would have been really helpful to have it. So what do we do? We try to pass our experience along to those young enough to take advantage of it. But here's the thing: Experience cannot be passed along from one person to another. So the young will continue to make the mistakes, in order to learn and gain the experience, and the experienced will continue to look on in frustration, thinking "if only they had listened." I find this amusing and mildly frustrating at the same time. Probably because I really want to spare those who I care about the hardships that I had to deal with, but at the same time I'm old and I like to say "I told ya so."

Post

2009-02-23T20:21:00.002-06:00

Lena and Richard both yelled at me for not being online any more, so here. HA!

So, I've been playing a lot of video games. Fallout 3 pretty much rocks out! I find it very easy to get lost in the Wasteland for hours at a time. Another enjoyable pass time, that's really the same pass time, would be killing zombies. Left 4 Dead for life. Really I don't view these as video games, but more as preparation for the not too distant future.

I'm sure that playing such video games makes me look like a huge dork in the minds of some of my readers, LENA, but I know there are those out there who understand. Even my loving wife likes killing zombies with me. So :-p

I apologize that I've been away for so long. Keep bugging me, so that I remember to get on and post.

Update

2009-01-19T15:06:00.003-06:00

Man I suck at posting now that I can't from my phone. I need a job where I get to sit in front of a computer all day and do all the things that I want to do.

So My birthday was a couple of days ago. The big 31. Not much to report on that front. I'm a year older, had a pretty good birthday, and a few friends over. I enjoyed tacos and burritos and a really good cake. I got a new 42" TV for my birthday, but I got that the day after Christmas, which is my wife's birthday... so I kinda got a new TV for my wife's birthday.

Christmas was pretty nice. We didn't get to go to Florida like we were planning, plane tickets were just too expensive. So we spent it with my family and on our own, starting our own Christmas tradition; building a gingerbread house. Our house rocked out... but the funniest part was demolishing it a couple days later. We built it so well that a minature family could have lived in it.

I'll try to write more later about killing zombies and my tips on dominating in your fantasy football league.

More Effort

2008-12-10T13:24:00.000-06:00

Ami and I just got new phones. Phones with out internet access. This means that it will take more effort for me to post. I will do my best to continue posting regularly.

If anyone needs my new number (which I will be texting to my call list over the next couple of days) send me an e-mail. Goodbye Sidekick 3. You were a good phone.

Life Goes On

2008-12-08T11:36:00.000-06:00

For those who have experienced a loss like my family just did you probably have an understanding of where I'm at. I'm back at work today, trying to return to life as normal. But how can the world continue as normal after losing someone like my dad? A part of me expected life to change for everyone.

During the funeral I talked about how my dad would want all of us to "keep on keeping on." To continue our ministries. To continue living our lives to bring glory to God. It feels odd; trying to go back to the way things were before. For the first 28 years of my life my dad was the one I would go to. Most of the time I would pretend to have a really good idea of what life was about, and we would talk about my ideas. He would constantly push me to take things further or challenge me when he disagreed. He hadn't been able to be that person for a couple of years, but something about the finality of his physical death makes me miss what we used to have more than I did while he was still with us.

I feel like I know what he would say; that my hope is found in Christ and that nothing can take that away. That bad thing are bound to happen and that stumbling blocks will continue to catch me up. But that I need to continuously pick my self up and keep on keeping on. I need to continuously redirect my focus onto Christ and do my best to live my life to His glory. I just wish that that was an easy thing to do.

My heart aches and I miss my dad. My world was changed because of him; both his life and his death. I'm just shocked that for the majority of the world life has gone on as if nothing has changed.

It's Finished

2008-11-28T10:49:00.002-06:00

This morning, at approximately 9:50, my dad went home to Heaven. My family was all there gathered around him as he breathed his last breath. Mom called me over early this morning because she knew that his time was short.

For those who didn't know, this has been a really long and difficult road. The last couple of weeks have been really rough. Dad stopped eating and talking for the most part last week. I was one of the last ones that he talked to, and all that he was able to tell me was "I love you." Dad had a seizure earlier this week and never really woke up after that. He just became weaker and weaker until he couldn't draw breath anymore. The whole family was able to say goodbye as Jesus was welcoming him home.

The plan is for the funeral to be on Tuesday at 11:00. The viewing will be from 4:00 - 8:00 on Monday. Thank you all for your prayers.

Retreat

2008-11-13T09:50:00.000-06:00

Is an interesting name for a church event. Is there any relationship between what we think of as a church retreat and the kind that happens in war?

For me, this weekend, it's more the kind that happens in war. Life has been hard over the last week and I need to run away from that for a while. I need to regroup before I get back into the fray.

This weekend I get to retreat from life, and I'm really looking forward to it. We're going to be talking about grace and worshiping the God who is offering us victory, even though we deserve defeat. I am really looking forward to this.

Hope

2008-11-12T14:58:00.001-06:00

I've found myself in the situation lately where I have struggled to find hope in this life. I have already lost the man who has been my main support through out my life, and letting go has made me feel hopeless. My dad is still holding on, but there are signs that he getting ready to let go and claim his eternal reward. He would tell me that, in this world, we can only find hope in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That living for anything else will leave us empty and feeling hopeless. Today I'm having a very difficult time finding that.

I have friends who are hurting in ways that I cannot imagine. I won't go into what that is here, except to say that the pain is assaulting me from from there as well.

As a counselor I talk about ways to cope with these feelings and I understand that they will pass. But today I don't want to cope. I want it to go away. I don't want patches to get me through. I want solutions to make it better.

Today I am not strong. I'm broken.

The Coming Apolypse

2008-11-10T14:04:00.000-06:00

Be prepared. Have a plan. Do not be caught unaware.

We spent our lunch hour at work today planning preparing for what now appears to be the unavoidable future for our country. It's a three stage plan; preparation, initiation, and long term. As soon as the news hits we are all going to grab our loved ones and our supplies, which we are starting to store up already. We have already set our secure staging point where we will continue to gather what we will need before a total collapse takes place. I cannot over exagerate the importance that this is a secure area where you and your chosen few can hide in safety while continuing to prepare. In the third stage we will relocate to a piece of land (not named here to protect our future) where we will be able to start growing our own food and continue building our defenses.

Do not be caught unaware. The zombies' numbers are growing exponentially. They will be launching their attack soon. Prepare to protect your brain.

Grace

2008-11-07T20:23:00.000-06:00

We're doing a series on grace in the youth group right now and I was asked if I would tell about a time in my life when I deserved to be punished but someone showed me grace. I thought for a long time and thought up a lot of stories where I had done something worthy of punishment, but every time I got what was comming to me. I've been in trouble more than once, but I've always received an appropriate consequence (that I can think of).

This was really dissappointing to me. Grace is my favorite subjects from the gospels, so I really wanted to share something with the students. It made me sad that I couldn't. Then I remembered what it is about grace that moves me so much. I've done a lot of sinful and wrong things in my life. I am going to feel real shame when I'm standing before my Creator because I know that I deserve to spend eternity seperated from him. I deserve to be punished, like I have been through out my entire life. My pride. My hateful thoughts. My false idols. My lust. When I stand in front of the One who knows everything about me, I will have no doubt what my punishment will be. Grace is when he says to me: "Well done, my good and faithful servent. Welcome to your reward."

That grace is available to us now. Christ showed me grace when he allowed himself to be torchered and put to death. He took the punishment that I deserve so that I wouldn't have to.

Yes We Can

2008-11-05T12:07:00.000-06:00

I am sure that there are quite a few nervous McCain supporters out there. I don't know if any of those people read my blog, but I want to address that none the less. I hope you voted. If you didn't vote, do us all a favor and don't complain. We live in one of the freest countries in the world, and if you didn't take advantage of our most basic right to vote than you really shouldn't critize the outcome of an election that you refused to participate in.

It was a close race and it was really exciting to watch. There were a lot of supprises. IN, PN, OH, and FL all going to Obama was unexpected; guess that's why we follow through and count votes. I think it says a lot about our president elect that he wanted to win the popular vote as well as the required electoral vote. Believe what you want, but I believe that Obama wants to be the best president for the majority of the people. Not the best for the most influential people, like some presidents from our past.

McCain's consession speech gave me a new respect for him. And the president's invitation to welcome the Obamas into the White House to give them a look at life there before they arrive was also uplifting. I pray that our country is moving away from a two party government and that both parties will learn to work together for the greater good.

Before I went to bed last night I saw facebook status changes talking about a fear for what our country's future is going to be. As a follower of Christ I see hope. Hope that our government is going to start doing more for "the least of these." I also pray that each individual will continue to seek out ways to show love to their neighbor on their own. Change is not something to be afraid of, but something to get excited about. A vast majority of our nation was fed up with what our government has been doing to deal with the crisis facing our nation. They voted for a change.

Congratulations Mr. Obama. I will pray for you like I've prayed for the presidents before you. That you will make decisions that will help move our great nation closer to the land of opportunity that it was meant to be. That you will do everything in your power to lift up the low and to bring hope where there was none before. And that your faith will be more than lip service, that your strength truly will be found in the One who created you for this purpose.

Unrealistic Expectations

2008-11-03T09:51:00.000-06:00

My coworkers and I were recently informed that we need to raise our billing by 50%. This means that they want us to see about two more people a day, and do the paperwork that goes along with that, in the same 40 hour work week that we have now.

I do home based counseling. Which means that I go to my client's to meet with them. This sometimes means a 30 minute car ride to get to them. On average I spend 10 minutes in the car to get to a client, 20 minutes for a round trip. I meet with them for about 60 minutes, which generates about 10 minutes of paperwork. So about 90 minutes per appointment.

Bottom line is that the math doesn't add up. If I'm going to see 6 clients a day, like they want me to, I will work 9 hour days not counting a lunch break or any time to talk to my coworkers or attend the meetings that the job requires of me. I already get paid at the bottom rung of what a college graduate should expect to get paid, with no hope of a raise in the near future.

I need a new job.

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T09:35:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the only day of the year when your parents encourage you to take candy from strangers. Take advantage of it while you can.

Quote of the Day

2008-10-28T12:02:00.000-06:00

"Well, I may not know much about God. But I have to say we built a pretty nice cage for him."

- Homer Simpson
(After building a chapel in "Missionary Impossible," season 11. Now available on DVD.)

Mondays

2008-10-27T14:44:00.001-06:00

Suck.

Weekends are too short.

Work starts too early.

Paperwork never ends.

Coffee runs out too soon.

Calls keep me out all night.

...

But I shouldn't complain.

I despise Mondays.

Mondays

2008-10-27T14:44:00.000-06:00

These Hard Times

2008-10-25T18:37:00.000-06:00

Paraphrased:

"I wish this never would have happened."

"So do all who live to see hard times. But that's not for us to decide. All we can do is decide what to do with the time that has been given to us."

What will you decide to do during these hard times? Will you concern yourself with bettering your situation or with helping those less fortunate than yourself?

Disheartening

2008-10-07T11:18:00.000-06:00

I work at the community mental health agency for Kankakee County. We are responsible for providing theraputic and case managment services for the poor in our county.

I've been here for four years because I believe that this is the best way for me to minister to my comunity. Today was very frustrating. We had our monthly meeting this afternoon and talked about what we want to do for our clients for the holidays. In the past we have chosen a few of our poorest families and provided food for either Thanksgiving or Christmas and we have provided presents for our younger clients. This year we got a letter from Riverside, the hospital that usually donates the money for our holiday giving, stating that they will not be able to give this year.

Presented with this problem our CEO asked what we would like to do. A few of us volenteered to bring in food to donate to a family. However, the majority of my coworkers decided that things are too tight for them to donate to our clients, who "get so many hand outs during the holidays that they eat better than we do."

I know that no one who works with me is anywhere close to being wealthy, and I definately empathize with how tight things are for everyone. It just breaks my heart. The vote went against even having a party for our clients this year. The hope and joy that is usually in my heart during this time of year just got punched in the gut.

Gas $?

2008-10-06T08:44:00.002-06:00

I've always heard that we shouldn't complain to the people at the gas stations about our gas prices. That it's the price of oil that's causing the rise in the cost of our gas. So I complain about the cost of oil and how fickle they are with raising and lowering that whenever they want. Then it hits me. If the price at the pump is only regulated by the price of oil, than why is the same gas 50 cents more expensive in the city? Why was gas almost 30 cents cheaper in Indiana this weekend than it is here? It's the same gas stations, shouldn't the Shell Station in IN be selling the same gas that they're selling here in IL? So if it isn't actually the price of oil that is determining the price at the pump, what is it?

Gas $

2008-10-06T08:44:00.001-06:00

Security

2008-09-30T15:55:00.000-06:00

I went out to my car this morning ready to go to work, like most days. As I got to my car I noticed that I left my rear window cracked. While I was mentally repremanding myself, I noticed that my Sirius radio dock was sitting in my back seat, empty. During the night someone took advantage of my mistake, broke into my car and stole my radio.

I called the police filed a report and realized that they also stole some cheap tools from my trunk; overlooking my expensive Craftsman wratchet set. So it was someone who either didn't know jack about tools or some punk kid who was in such a hurry that they overlooked a lot of valuable stuff.

After I got over the initial shock and anger I had to ask myself: "what happening in our world that people can get past any sence of community to do this kind of thing?" Being a counselor my first blame goes to the family. Morals are no longer taught at home. Kids really do believe that if they want something it's okay for them to take it, and parents believe that it's someone elses job to deal with that. The school, the police, the church.

Personally, I don't think that there is an answer to this, but if you know of one please help me out here. I don't like feeling like I need to leave a community because they're devoid of any community pride. But is this the kind of place where I can think of raising a family?

Question

2008-09-15T19:05:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure if I have enough readers for this yet, but it's on my mind so I'll throw it out there.

Do Americans, as a whole, educate themselves enough to be trusted with major decisions?

Here is why I ask. Where do we get information to influence our vote? Answer, TV or the internet. We watch the canadate that we want to support and trust what that canadate says. We read from sights which are made to support our point of view. In my humble opinion we would do better to watch the opposing canadate or read opposing propaganda. We should all know what our canadate is in support of. Why not listen to the opponent and give ourselves a reason not to vote for them? Can we trust what our canadate says about the opponent?

This argument works on a lot of levels for me. How can we be for something if we haven't openly listened to the opposing side? I'm not saying to change your vote, just to wisely educate your self.

Advice

2008-09-10T09:16:00.001-06:00

When I was young enough to really take advantage of this type of thing I didn't feel like I needed it. I hope that someone finds this advice helpful. It's some of the things that I wish I would have known when I was younger rather than learning them later in life.

1. Laugh more than you cry, but don't be afraid to cry.

2. Don't hold back, you're only going to be young once. Experience life as much as possible.

3. Play video games less, read more books.

4. Don't be afraid to ask questions, it's how you'll gain intelligence.

5. Don't be afraid of doing something wrong. Learning from mistakes is how you gain wisdom.

6. Enjoy your body now. Most likely it won't get better with time.

7. Forget the mean things that people say about you, remember all of the complements. Any thoughtless jackass can make fun of someone, it takes a thoughtful person to notice the good in someone else.

8. Be good to everyone.

9. Boredom is self inflicted. Learn how to entertain yourself, others can't be responsible for keeping you occupied.

10. Pay attention to why you do. The intentions behind your decisions are more important than the actual decisions. If your morals are strong, than you can continue to grow and make better choices. If the choices are more important than the whys behind them, than you will inevitably make the wrong decisions.

I hope this helps. If anyone has any advice that you'd like to add or argue with, feel free to comment.

WoW

2008-09-09T11:32:00.003-06:00

Three months away is too long. I apologize for my absence. There are a few things that I need to catch you up on before I vent about what is on my mind right now.

1. Dad is still hanging in there. No real changes to report; which in itself is pretty frustrating...

2. Fantasy Football got off to a good start. I won my first game pretty convincingly.

3. College Football got off to a bad start, but we half way expected that. I'm still bleeding Maze and Blue.

4. I'm currently reading (more like waiting to read) the Inheritance Series. The third book comes out September 20, I just reread the first two, I'll let you know what I think of the third.

All righty then. Now that that's out of the way, lets talk about "pro-life."

These thoughts have been back in my head because of a recent conversation over on The Experience, concerning Sarah Palin (check it out here). I don't care for conversations about politics, I'm not going to change your mind and you're not going to change mine. But I do enjoy conversations about about my faith, even though I'm sure that I won't change any one's mind about that either.

Most people mean "anti-abortion" when they talk about "pro-life," and it is talked about a lot during election years like this one. The term pro-life is used because everyone wants to sound positive; they want to be for something, not against something. But in this case, they are against abortion, not for life. I consider myself pro-life. I am against abortion, though I do know why people fight to keep it legal. I am against war, though I understand why it exists. And I am against the death penalty, though I have heard the arguments for why it's necessary.

Listen to people who talk about being "pro-life" talk about things other than abortion. If they attempt to justify continued American involvement in hostilities overseas, if they glamorize the death penalty, if they complain about stricter gun laws, than I'd have to wonder how "pro-life" they are. These are just words that Presidential parties use to get people riled up. It bothers me that all life isn't sacred. That people can choose whose life is more important. Is an unborn child less loved in God's eyes? Is a Muslim? Whose life is really more valuable? Who did God give His own life, out of love, to save? He died so that even I, the worst of sinners, could be saved!

My rant is over. Hopefully I'll talk to you soon.

Life

2008-06-08T11:09:00.000-06:00

I've delayed writing about this for about a week now. I've justified it because the majority of my readers already know what's going on, but I feel the need to put it down in words, for myself as much as for anyone else.

My dad was diagnosed with brain cancer about two and a half years ago. He has had two brain surgeries and a gamma knife procedure since then. It has been a really long road to this point and I'm afraid that it's going to be a long road ahead too.

He is back in the hospital again, and we just found out last week that the cancer is back again. He has fought it for a long time, they gave him a year after his last surgery, almost 17 months ago. This time around they don't even see any benefit to doing the Gamma Knife again, and they're giving him months. Hospice is getting involved to keep him comfortable at home until the end.

We all knew that this day would come, but it doesn't make it any easier. Life is like this. The last couple days have held some of the most beautiful and dreadful conversations I've ever had with my family. God's grace is more than sufficient and we feel comfort in the fact that He is in control of our lives and that He knows our pain. When asked why he wants to keep on fighting for his life my dad simply said "To continue to glorify God." How beautiful is that?

My hope and prayer is that one day I will be able to be man of God, just like my dad. That my reason to live would simply be to bring honor and glory to the One who put me here in the first place. Thank God for people like my dad.

Hockeytown

2008-06-06T14:41:00.000-06:00

For those who haven't heard: Lord Stanley's Cup has come home.

Wednesday night, while a huge storm and a tornado shook my house, I watched my Detroit Redwings hold off the Pittsburg Penguins to win their fourth championship in eleven years.

Congratulations. Lets do it again next year.

Now, the question is: What do I watch until football and the Olympics start in August?

Over Time

2008-06-03T08:12:00.000-06:00

For those who missed it. Amazing game last night... and this morning. Three overtimes! Wow. It was awesome.

But the part of the story that I don't like is that the Penguins won while on a power play. It was a call an a fairly incidential high stick, that drew blood. It was the right call and really wasn't anyone's fault, these things just happen. But to lose such a long, tough faught, game because of a penalty is heart breaking. I'm not upset with anyone, I'm not even that upset that we lost, just upset that it had to end that way.

Welp, see ya on Wednesday when the wings close out the series in Pittsburg.

Playoff Beard

2008-05-19T21:58:00.000-06:00

In honor of the Detroit Redwings making it to the final round of the playoffs, I encourage all loyal Hockeytown fans to grow out their playoff beards. We need to cheer our team on to Lord Stanley's Cup the right way, with a nasty scraggley playoff beard.

If you are a Pittsburg fan and you're reading this, I apologize for the beating you're about to take. Your team has fought hard to get here, and that should mean something to you. ;-)

GO WINGS!!!

Today

2008-05-08T16:41:00.000-06:00

Two very exciting things happened today.

First, I have to give a shout out to my friend Kari. She is now a gallery artist. I've loved her work for a long time and I'm thrilled to say that I loved her before she became famous. Check out her art from her sight, which is linked off to the right.

Second, Celebrate Life started today. When I was in hike school this was the highlight of my year. For me it was all about volleyball. But for those who don't know it's a Nazarene event where teens from all over this region come together for a three day competition in just about everything you can imagine. Sports, art, cards, and quizzing, among other things. I got to watch some volleyball and quizzing today. It always amazes me how well the quizzers know the bible. Lena is a momorizing pro, and knows so much about the refrences that they are covering. It's pretty awesome.

On Saturday the different regions' scores will all be added up and a winner will be anounced. It's fun to remember all of the tomfoolery that I used to get into... and to remember that it was 16 years ago, and that half of the teens that I watched today weren't even born yet.

Good thing 30 is the new 20. Otherwise I'd feel old. ;)

Book Review II

2008-05-05T08:49:00.000-06:00

This was a couple of weeks back now, but during youth group The Giver was recommended to me. It's a good read. So good that I finished it in three days. The story is very thought provoking. Think Pleasentville, for those who have seen that. But the ending was abrupt and a bit of a letdown. I'm sure that it was meant to leave you still thinking and for your mind to continue the story from where the author left it, but that's just an excuse in my book. It makes me feel like she didn't want to finish the story.

Either way, I did enjoy the experience. I give The Giver a Taco Pizza for its complex goodness, but only one because of the abrupt end left me still wanting.

Book Review

2008-04-26T06:38:00.000-06:00

For those who don't already know, I read a lot of books. I didn't really start doing that until after college, but since then I've done a lot of pleasure reading. Thinking that there may be some literate Robbie's Place regulars, I thought that I would share my thoughts on the most recent book that I've read in case you're looking for something good to read yourself.

I recently read I am Legend, by Richard Matheson. I'm a huge Will Smith fan, and I can admit that the fact that he was in the movie made me want to read the book; before I saw the movie, of course (it's usually better that way). It was much shorter than I expected, I finished it in about a week's worth of lunch and bathroom readings. I was never very impressed while reading it, but after putting it down it was always stuck in my head. It was written in 1954; so suspense was much more psychological, and mild compared to Kuntz or King.

I do the majority of my reading at Taco Bell, so I'll base my scale on their menu. Cinamen Twists being the lowest on the scale, due to the terrible taste and sharp edges, and the grilled stuffed burrito being top of the list, for its many layers of yummy goodness.

I give I am Legend a crunchy taco. It was pretty darn tastey, but it left me wanting more.

As a side note. I liked the movie, but it was pretty different than the book. Basically the name and concept were the only carry overs from the book. But it was a good movie anyway.

Membership

2008-04-24T10:49:00.000-06:00

So I'm teaching a membership class at church for the next six weeks. I'm trying to figure out how I feel about this. One of the sections in the membership book is titled "What do I believe." Generally speaking, I don't feel like it's my place to teach someone what they believe.

I'm going to go about it by stating up front that the class is about what the Nazarene church believes. Since they know what class they're in, my guess is that they want to allign themselves with the church. Which brings me to my next thought.

When did churches become clubs? I understand having statements of faith and writing down your beliefs. You want the congregation to understand what you're all about. But why do we take it that extra step and encourage people to become members? Isn't their choise of attending enough of an allignment with our beliefs? How long are you going to attend a church whose beliefs are contradictory to your own?

Sure. I can hear the argument now. "But Rob, you are a member of the Nazarene church, and your beliefs don't allign exactly with theirs." To that I say: "Tuché." When asked about my faith the last thing that I want to say is: "I'm a Nazarene." My response is usually "I'm a Christian." Or, when I feel like having a conversation about it: "I'm a disciple of Christ."

Bottom line. I feel that it's the Holy Spirit that convicts, not the church. The church is supposed to be the Body of Christ. It's role is to support the community of Christ. How does membership help? How does it hinder?

I questioned whether I would even post this. I'm deciding to go ahead and post with this adendum: I love the Nazarene Church and what it stands for, but I will always push for my church to become more like what I believe The Church is supposed to be.

Reflection

2008-04-22T06:38:00.000-06:00

It happened again. I found another opportunity to recogize the difference between when I grew up and now. When I went to college, one or two of my friends owned cell phones. Now 90% of college students have them... and use them every day... to talk to their friends... who they will see in a couple minutes. When I went to Olivet only a few of my friends had cars at school (and most of them were townies). Now they're having parking space issues because every one has a car.

Andy and I were talking about that at my parents' on Sunday and my mom started laughing at us because we sound like the old folks saying "back in my day..." I guess I'm getting old.

When I was in high school a mosh pit was made up of a group of people who would all get in a big group and jump around, every once in a while bumping into each other. I was at a concert last Friday where a few "scream-o" bands were playing, and the music was not the only thing that has changed. The mosh pit reminded me of a Bart and Lisa Simpson argument. The one where Lisa started kicking and walking toward Bart, and Bart started throwing punches and walking toward Lisa. And they said that they weren't responsible if someone got in their way. Yeah. That is what moshing has become. A ring of people where, at random, they go through the middle throwing punches, elbows, and kicks randomly into the air. We had a broken nose and a blown out knee that I know of.

I'm beginning to see how disconnected my parents felt when I was growing up. The world is changing right before our eyes. Some times, from what I've seen, the change is progress; it's improving society. Other times it appears to be a steady decline that is bordering on anti-society.

I guess I'm getting old.

I'm Back

2008-04-17T09:42:00.002-06:00

But I wish that I wasn't.

Married life is going well. Which is surprising considering all of the new stress that isn't even related to being newly weds. My two coworkers quit and will be gone in the next three weeks. My boss quit and will be gone the week after they leave. Which leaves Rob, and only Rob, to deal with the 50+ clients that we are supposed to be seeing twice a week.

Impossible you say? Oh no, my friends. This will be what is expected of me for the next two months. That's how long it will take to get my new coworkers in and trained. That means that I have to be on call, see all of these clients, and find time to get all of my paper work in. Impossible.

I do know the people that we're hiring to replace my fallen comrades, and I get along well with all of them. They're even hiring a fourth counselor to help pick up the slack. A guy! I get to work with with my own gender again! I like my new boss, too. She'll do a great job. But in the mean time, I'm on my own on this island known as SASS.

Welcome back me...

Honeymoon Update part 2

2008-03-25T07:10:00.002-06:00

We are now sitting in the airport waiting for our plane to board. Let me get you all caught up.

Friday - We grabbed breakfast at the Deja Vu Bar across the street. I got the country fried steak and hash browns in memory of the Luscious One (who probably doesn't read my sight). Then around noon a cab showed up to get us to our swamp tour of the Honey Island Swamp. The Swamp and Bayou were really cool. We got to see lots of wild life and some Cajun folk who spend their weekends in houses built on stilts, cooking up fresh caught crawfish, catfish, and what ever Else they can get their hands on. This sounds like the life for me.
The same cabbie took us home, but apparently 5:00 was the old timer's bedtime. He was driving about 5 under the limit and spent half the time between lanes or off the road. When I think of scary cabs I think of twice the limit, white knuckle, rides. This was a whole new kind of scary.

We went to Deanie's Seafood for dinner. Ami had the stuffed flounder and loved it. I had the soft shell crab... I guess my dining experience couldn't be perfect while in New Orleans.

Saturday - Three words: Cajun Cooking School! This was an awesome experience for many reasons. The good food was my favorite reason, but the two ladies who taught us were a close second. We sat in our "lesson" for about three hours while the ladies cooked us some classic Louisiana food and told stories of New Orleans. They shared about their Katrina experiences, as well as general life stories from growing up in the city. Ami got several recipes from them and we bought their cookbook. I'll let ya know when we're going to do Cajun night at the Kring's.
For dinner we went to Johnny's Po-Boy, and it wouldn't be our last visit. I heard about this place on one of the learning channels; probably Travel. Have I mentioned that I love Po-Boys? Cause they are so good.

Sunday - Sadly we did not attend church today. Partly because I only know where the catholic churches are near the hotel, and secondly because this is the day that I started getting sick; so I didn't feel like putting forth the effort to find one. We ate at an interesting Pacific Rim restaurant called the Street Car Bistro. I experimented with a lot of things for the first time there. Blood soup and tofu being the stand outs. Not bad.
We then caught a parade, where Ami earned enough beads to decorate a couple of Christmas trees. What happens in New Orleans stays in New Orleans... or so we're told. By dinner I was really not feeling well, so we grabbed some Po-Boys from Remoulade, the first place that we ate in New Orleans, and took them back to the hotel.

Monday - By this time, I was so ready to be home. We did manage to get out and grab a couple more Po-Boys, from Johnny's. We then went down to the Mississippi to sit in the sun and watch the boats go by. It was nice. New Orleans has special doughnuts, called Beignets, that we were told we had to try. So we did; from a place called Cafe Beignet. Not too bad. I'd take a cake doughnut or a Krispy Kreme over it any day.
We then went back to the hotel and slept for a couple of hours, before ordering pizza (which Ami got dressed for this time) and packing up to come home.

We had a great honeymoon in New Orleans. Any one thinking of going, do it. I highly recommend such previously mentioned experiences as a Honey Island Swamp Tour, Cajun Cooking School, and taking a day to visit Jackson Square. Also, make sure you eat at Johnny's Po-Boy, Acme Oyster House, and Arnauld's Remoulade. I think that we could have done everything that was really worth doing in five days; but that is all that I would change about our honeymoon.

Honeymoon Update

2008-03-20T18:41:00.002-06:00

I'll spare my readers the details of our more intimate moments, but I thought it would be fun to share some of our New Orleans experiences with you.

Tuesday: Our plane arrived in New Orleans, we took a cab to the hotel (with both windows down and the 80 degree breeze blowing through the cab), and checked into the hotel. We then went to Arnaud's Remoulade for a late lunch. We both had Po-Boys, I recommend the Cajun Sausage. So spicy, so good. We then went looking for New Orleans' Ice Cream. As a note, the address listed is a shipping address, not where they are located. So we went for a walk.
Eventually we made it back to the hotel to unpack and unwind. Eventually Ami decided that she was still hungry, so she ordered pizza and sent me for some Diet Coke. Sadly, she got into the shower and the pizza guy arrived before I got back. So, his tip got to be seeing Ami in her towel.

Wednesday: This was a beautiful day. Sunny and 75. We went down to the riverfront and walked the shops and park there. Beautiful. I really thought that it was going to be terrible, but Ami loves shopping, so I planned for that. I also loved it, though it helped that every other shop was an art boutique or a drink stand. Ami found a new cookbook, so it was a productive day. ;-)
For lunch we ate at Cafe Pontalba while a jazz band played on the street corner right outside. Again, I had to have a Po-Boy; crawfish this time. I think that's my new favorite seafood, it was amazing. For dinner we went to Bubba Gump's and I got the "Bucket of Shrimp Boat Trash." It was a bucket with lobster tails, shrimp, and fried catfish.

Thursday: Today we slept in (it was a late night). We caught a bus to the Audubon Zoo around noon. There was a man on the corner there with a megaphone proclaiming his faith, with out taking any time to catch his breath. Way to much to talk about here. The highlights were the White Bangle Tiger jumping into the water and playing right in front of us. The Orangutans tomfoolery. And the gorilla kid hitting the mommy gorilla, then pretending that it didn't do anything. Then, of course, there was the guy who was still on the corner, four hours later, dancing and trying to sell his bibles.
For dinner we went to Acme Oyster House where I tested to see if raw oysters really are... well, you know. I've decided that they are fun to eat, but that there I didn't feel anything more interesting. But don't take my word for it. Get out there and try them yourself.

We will be posting pics on Facebook and Myspace. Check in there for the visual evidence.

Wedding Thoughts

2008-03-14T14:00:00.000-06:00

So... 24 hours. In 24 hours I'll be standing up in front of my family and friends exchanging vows with the woman that I'm going to spend forever with. I'm not sure if my lack of anxiety is a good thing or a bad thing. This decision feels right in both my heart and my head. I've prayed about it, and I talked with my friends and family about it.

I know:
It won't always be easy to get along with Ami.
We'll have our share of fights.
I'm not going to be the husband that she deserves.
There will come a time when I second guess this decision to get married again.

But I also know:
That God is at the center of both of our lives and our relationship, and he will always make a way. And that I will love Ami. No matter what. And thit I will continue to strive to be worthy of this gift from God.

So... by this time tomorrow, I'll be starting my new life with the woman of my dreams.

Motives

2008-03-07T21:10:00.000-06:00

This has been coming up in my conversations more and more often lately. That what someone did was not that bad, but why they did it made it a lot worse. I think that this relates to the Church, and to Christians in general.

The majority of Americans claim some sort of christianity as their "religion." Few of them go to church at all. Then you get into a church and you realize that there are a lot of people there who don't practice their faith. Going to church is an act that was supported by Christ, but going so that you can get better connected or because you want to do the minimum work to "get into heaven" perverts the act of attending church.

Gossip. Talking about people who aren't present is indifferent. Talking about someone who your heart is broken for in order to lift them up and help them is positive. But, far more often than not, people talk about some one to either make themself look better or to make that person look worse. Is there anything more destructive to the Body of Christ?

The problems that the Church is facing are not in its actions, but in its heart. If what motovated us was seeking God's face and being His hands (rather than seeking His hands while being His face) more people would want what we have.

I'll be honest, I struggle with this. I want to be accepted by the world and by the church. My motive is acceptance. I want to make eveyone like me. My motive should be to give glory to God, and to show His compassion in everything that I do. The Church needs a wake up call before we fall so asleep that you can't tell the difference between us and the world.

Teens. Show up on Wednesday. We'll be talking about it. Feel free to get started by posting your thoughts here. Let me know how you feel about this.

Faith vs Proof

2008-03-04T08:33:00.002-06:00

We watched a really thought provoking video of Rob Bell in youth group last week. He gives like a 60 minute breakdown of quantum physics; talking about how many variables have to be perfect for earth to sustain life (temperature, gravity, perfect combination of elements in our atmosphere). He also talked about how our world is governed by absolute rules (1 + 1 = 2)... until you start venturing out into the universe (where voids in space eat light) or until you start breaking our reality down to it's most basic components (where subatomic elements exist at two places at the same time). There all of our rules go out the window.

He then gets into my favorite aspect of the quantum sciences; dimensions. We all exist in three dimensions, and two and one demention are easy enough for us to explain. Time is one dimensional. It has a start and moves one direction from there. Then there is the two dimensional plane, that has height and width, but lacks depth. These scientists have proven (how ever they do that) that there are seven dimentions. Fourth and higher are really hard to explain, so I won't try. The only way that something in the second dimension would know of our existence is if we interact with it; but they would have a very limited knowledge of what we truly are. If a ring, for example, were to move through their world they would know that it started as a point, then became a line, then became two lines moving farther apart, then closer together, before becoming a single line again, then a point, then it's gone. It would be very difficult to prove that that point, line, lines, line, and point was really one ring.

We are only separated from that dimension by one dimension, but they could no easier understand us than we can understand God. There would be those (in the second dimension) who would have an idea that those points and lines are more than they appear. Like we have an idea that Jesus is more than he appeared. I believe, like many of you, that God was here, in our dimension, and that we didn't understand. He was an amazing individual who did things that we could never understand. We believe that he is God, but is possible to prove that?

There are people who believe that the seventh dimension is the most perfect and complete place possible, and that this is where God exists. I believe that Jesus was God entering our three dimensional space (whether from another dimension or something else entirely I don't know, but for this analogy we can assume). Science is going to continue to have break throughs and it will prove a lot of theories. But will it ever prove the existence of God? Will it ever disprove it?

I've said a lot. It's your turn.

Tradition?

2008-02-17T09:55:00.000-06:00

I was visiting friends in Indianapolis this weekend and got to go to church with them; they attend Common Ground. I really like their church, especially the pastor. If I'm able to move to Indi this is the church that I'm going to go to.

But, even at Common Ground, the church traditions that I have trouble understanding at my own church exist. For example, standing up when we sing. Why do Christians every where automatically stand up when it's time to sing, and automatically sit down when we're done praying? What drew my attention to this, even more than usual, is that there was no command, it did happen automatically. At my current church we're told to stand up when it's time to sing. And, sometimes, we're even reminded that it's "okay" to raise our hands.

For some reason, as I've gotten older, it's really rubbed me the wrong way when the church tells me how to worship. Worship style is so individual. I know that I can stay seated to sing and that raising my hands is not how I show God that I'm blessed. I know these things and still I feel pressured to do them, and I almost always stand, even when I feel like staying seated. Sometimes, when I'm blessed by a song, I stop singing entirely and just let the lyrics move me. That doesn't mean that I would ever get up, lead worship, and tell the congregation sit down and shut up and let the spirit move them. ... I apologize. I was on a soap box there. Back to my question.

Where do these vague traditions come from? Why do we still do them, even though most of us have no idea why? Maybe you have questions about why we do certain things at church; feel free to vent as well.

Birth Control

2008-02-11T10:32:00.000-06:00

So, I recently heard a rumor the the local high school, in Bradley, is going to start giving out birth control to students, presumably female students. I had a conversation about a similar situation on The Experience a couple of months back, but I think that it relates to what we've been talking about here lately.

Through out history the "church" has taken stances against a lot of things. They've drawn the line against a lot of things. I am not against birth control. If you are going to have sex, please use multiple defenses. I've seen the result of kids who have kids, and they're usually not well adjusted... to put it as mildly and non-offensively as I can. But I also stand by my previously established stance. School is not the place for students to get their birth control. Especially with out their parents knowing about it.

For me this is just one more symptom of the breakdown of the family unit. Who should be responsible for raising today's youth? I hope it isn't the schools. And when I'm honest with myself, I hope it's not the church either. But this is what happens when parents just aren't there. Someone has to be there to pick up the slack. Are schools right to step in and fill this need? Or is there a better solution?

Recent Painting

2008-02-09T18:16:00.000-06:00

Yeah, so I haven't really been posting any of my art lately, for which I apologize. This is a little painting that I did back around Christmas time. It's like 3" X 4.5", so pretty little. I gifted this to Lena, for Christmas, and I'm not really sure where it is now.

Generational?

2008-02-03T11:59:00.000-06:00

Every generation goes further than the generation before it; are these moves for the better or for the worse? My parents wouldn't have dreamed of allowing alcohol into their home. They were brought up believing that it was sinful to consume any alcohol or to dance or even to use playing cards. My generation tends to believe differently.Not only do I have alcohol in my home, I have also been known to consume it. I also dance on occasion and play poker for money.

I don't believe that these things harm my relationship with Christ at all, but my parents' generation was against them because they believed that they were "sinful." My understanding of sin is different than that generation's. Growing up I heard all kinds of sermons preached against the evils of the world. Yet, I don't believe that the majority of those things that we called "sinful" would harm my relationship with Christ in themselves. Sure, anything can do that when it becomes more important than Christ, but is there anything that is unconditionally sinful?

Apparently the teens that I work with are taking even more steps. They call it dancing, and it makes me feel really old fashioned and prudish. Are there any absolutes? Are there actions that are unconditionally sinful? Adultery comes to mind... but maybe I'm just predigested. I need help here.

Snow + Wind = Hell

2008-01-30T10:33:00.000-06:00

Last night I got called out to Indian Oaks Academy for work. The call came in at around 6:00, the blizzard started at about 7:00.

I've driven in some really bad weather before, but never like this. The snow was coming down pretty bad, and the wind was gusting at 50 mph. When I was around the buildings by IOA it wasn't that bad, but once I got out into the open corn fields it became hell. So much snow was blowing that I couldn't see more than 5 feet in front of my car. I was driving about 20 mph, when I could move at all. There were times that the snow got so bad that I couldn't see anything. Seriously, nothing but a white blur. It took me over 15 minutes to go the 3 miles to the first stop sign on that road and I didn't even see the stop sign until it was right next to me.

After about half an hour of country driving in the blizzard I made it to town where the buildings made the driving bearable. I was still averaging about 25 mph but I didn't have to stop and there were no more white outs. By the time I got home I had aged like 10 years. Talk about freaky.

Honeymoon Planning

2008-01-13T12:23:00.000-06:00

Ami is all gung-ho about planning the wedding. Me? I'm just not all that excited about the details. No. Not because I've been married before. I've never been into wedding details. For me the wedding is about publically committing to spend the rest of my life with Ami, everything else is extra. The extras are for Ami, so I let her handle that. But the honeymoon is something that I can get excited about. So that's how I've been spending my time.

We're going to New Orleans for a week. It's somewhere that neither of us have been and there is a lot of cool and fun stuff to do. And there is a lot of good food. So, I'm pretty much more excited about the honeymoon than anything else at this point. I suppose there are probably some other reasons that I'm excited about the honeymoon... but I'll refrain from talking about that. For now...

Resolution

2007-12-28T10:01:00.001-06:00

It's pretty standard for people to make resolutions around this time of year. I don't normally do that. Not because I think my life is in order or anything, but because I'm so bad at following through with them that I don't even bother.

There are, however, a lot of things that I want to do differently in 2008; not because it's a new year but because I'm starting a new life. Ami and I are getting married on March 15, so I want to make changes to be a better husband, and eventually a decent father. For one, I want to be healthier; meaning I want to lose weight and get back in shape. I also want to get back into a regular schedule for my devotional life. I'd really like to start waking up earlier and having my private time with God in the mornings before work. And, since there always have to be three, I want to art more. This sight used to be soley be dedicated to my artings, and I'd like to do a weekly post of what I did artistically during that week.

I'm interested in any advice that you might have for me. I'd also like to hear what you may be resolving to do better or differently in the new year.

Resolution

2007-12-28T10:01:00.000-06:00

Tis the Season

2007-12-21T11:18:00.000-06:00

For what? The reason for the season is the birth of Christ. He is God's gift to us. So is Christmas about giving gifts to eachother remembering that amazing gift that we were given?

It also stricks me that Jesus' birth was his coming to make purposful relationships with us. That's a huge part of the season for me; spending time with those that I love remembering the relationship that Christ made possible for us.

It's probably futal to attempt to boil Christmas down to a fundamental reason or way to celebrate; because there are so many reasons and so many ways. It's always my fear that we will get caught up in the giving and receiving of Christmas and forget how personal the Holiday is.

Fun in the Snow?

2007-12-16T15:03:00.001-06:00

So, these tiny little flecks of snow sure can add up. When I was a kid they added up to fun. Andy and I used to dig tunnels in the snow piles the the trucks would build up in the church parking lot. We would protect the tunnels from Sarah by bombarding her with snowballs when ever she would get to close. Good clean fun.

Today, when I woke up to over a foot of snow, my first thought was that it would be fun to get out and play with the dog. The snow was so deep that Boe had to jump to get through it. She had a blast... I on the other hand had to shovel the sidewalk. Living on a corner lot makes for a lot of sidewalk, which, in turn, makes a lot of shoveling. It took me over an hour to shovel the two tons of snow that covered the walks. It seems that snow adds up to more work now.

Maybe that will change when we have kids. I sure hope so.

What Moves You?

2007-12-15T19:09:00.000-06:00

I'll tell ya what moves me. A good story.

These stories come in different forms for me, but mostly books and movies. Three that have moved me recently are Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and Harry Potter. They are all stories about journeys. About a character searching out what's right. Frodo Baggins, Anakin Skywalker, Harry Potter. Every one of them started their journey with the right intentions, they all wanted to have a positive impact on their world. There were wrong turns along the way and big mistakes made. These characters are imperfect... kinda like me.

I love the journey. I love the adventure. I love the realistic characters. I guess this is how I view my life. I'm on a journey, I'm seeking adventure, and I'm imperfect, and I make mistakes. I hope that my story ends as well as these do...

So, what inspires you?

Emergency Room

2007-12-03T21:59:00.000-06:00

On Saturday I got a call from my mother as I was getting ready to get into bed. Apparently my dad managed to dislocate his jaw; we think during a large yawn. My brother and sister were up in Michigan visiting with some of our friends from when we were in High School (I had to stay in town for work). So, she needed help getting him to the ER, so that they could reset his jaw. Ami and I went and helped get my dad to the car and then into the emergency room.

Once we got in it took about an hour for the doctor to come back and see him, then another half hour for her to come in to try to set his jaw. After working on it for a while she decided that she couldn't do it. About half an hour later the oral surgeon showed up and was able to reset it. Yeah, it looked pretty uncomfortable... dad didn't like it very much. We then got to spend another hour waiting for them to give us some discharge instructions.

I hate the emergency room. If I ever have an emergency I can plan on being in pain for a couple hours before someone helps me, then I can spend another hour waiting for them to let me go home. We spent three hours there, and there were only like two other people there besides us. Frustrating.

ps - Dad is doing fine now. His jaw has stayed in place. I'll give a better dad update at some point in the near future when I'm feeling up to it.

Disney

2007-11-28T07:07:00.000-06:00

I spent the day at the Magic Kingdom yesterday, for free. One of Jason's tenants hadn't paid his rent, so he accepted four park hopper day passes as payment. I hadn't been to Disney for a while (8 years), so we decided that it would be a fun final day of vacation.

Two conflicting things struck me while I was at the park. The first was that it really is magical. I felt like a kid again, walking around in some kind of dream. Walt really knew how to bring imagination to life. Ami and I went on a bunch of attractions, and loved every minute of it. Even though two of the rides broke while we were riding. I can't wait to take my kids there and experience the magic all over again.

The second thing that I noticed was capitalism at it's finest. My mind isn't wired to to look for ways to make money around every corner. Jason's is. And one of his favorite sayings while I was here was "that's the beauty of capitalism." (Usually in reference to someone taking advantage of someone else in order to make money.) Disney has also embraced this idea. Everything is the park was marked up at least double of what I could get it outside the park. The idea here is that you're stuck, so they can charge what ever they want.

In my head these two things conflict. The magic of feeling like a kid in some amazing dream and the reality of corprate America trying to make as much money as possible. If they were to charge normal amounts they would still make good money, but they can charge more... so they do. Kids don't realize this, and I ignored this (by not paying for a single thing all day), it just sort of rubbed me the wrong way all day. I still had a blast, and I do love the Disney parks, and I do recommend that anyone who hasn't gone makes it a point to go some day. But save up. Cause it's gonna cost ya.

Vacation Update

2007-11-25T08:57:00.000-06:00

Lena wants me to post again; so this one is for you Bena.

Wednesday: We took the kids to Ice! It's this really cool display at one of the local resorts. They took their convention center and turned it into a freezer (9 degrees), brought over ice sculptors from China, and created a winter wonderland. There was even a cool ice slide for us to go down.
After that we split up. The girls went shopping for Thanksgiving and the guys went shopping for Christmas decorations. We tried to rent a cherry picker, but they wouldn't let us because we would have to use it on the grass, and someone recently died when their cherry picker tipped over in the grass. So we had to get a ladder instead... a 28' ladder. That's really high to be climbing on a ladder.
Around 11:00 pm the rest of the family showed up. They drove down from Seymour, IN. A 14 hour trip when you don't stop, and they stopped several times. I think they made it in about 19 hours.

Thursday: Thanksgiving. The day was laid back and easy. Women cooked. Men tried to stay out of the way. This included trying to distract the kids. Caty and Connor have more toys than they can count; including, but not limited to: a bounce house, a play house, electric trucks to drive around in, and enough dolls and toy trains to play with a new one every day for a month. That being said, they are normal kids who require massive amounts of attention.
Read below to see what Thursday night / Friday morning consisted of.

Friday: Thanksgiving being over, it was now time to put up the Christmas decorations. Remember the cherry picker from above? Yeah, that really would have come in handy. The ladder didn't quite make it to the top of the house, so Matt, Mike, and I had to climb up on the roof and hang over the edge to get the lights to hang right. It has been a while since I've been that close to tumbling to my death, so this was really exciting.
A few of us went to Jason's trailer parks to help get things in order. This included getting the change out of the laundry and snack machines, getting the security cameras working right, and fixing one of the computers. On the ride home Jason showed off some of the special features of his truck. He showed us how the smoke screen works; it's pretty effective. The truck also has bullet proof windows, road tacks, and other spy like features.

Saturday: The brothers and I went to the shooting range, and shot off about 500 rounds with a variety of pistols. Over all this is a wonderful way to let off some steam. After we were done at the range we went to the Gun Show. I know what you're thinking; "Aren't you the main attraction at the gun show, Rob?" The easy answer is yes, but unfortunately this was a different gun show. I was wearing one of my Michigan shirts, and several vendors made comments. I guess that the Michigan militia is good to the gun show folks.
Later we had cake to celebrate my soon to be father-in-law's birthday.

Today: The Seymour group left at about 2:30 this morning. Jason, Cathi, and Caty and Connor are leaving for their Disney Cruise soon. Which will leave Ami and I to watch baby Jacob on our own for the next few days.

There ya go. That's my last few days in a nutshell. I'll let ya know how the babysitting gig goes before we leave.

Thanksgiving...

2007-11-23T02:25:00.000-06:00

So, I'm in Orlando (FL) with Ami's family for Thanksgiving. It's always fun to learn about your soon to be in-laws by spending a holiday where they're all together. (Sadly, Ami's brother Cory couldn't make the trip.) When family is together, they're more themselves. Meaning that I get wonderful insights, not to mention amusing stories. It was hard to be away from my family for the holidays (for the first time), but it's something I need to get used to if I'm going to marry this woman. It wasn't all that uncomfortable, really. The family is small enough that there wasn't even a kids table; which was a comfort seeing as how I'm still confined to the kids table when I'm with my family for the Turkey Day.

There is one thing that I need help with, though. And this doesn't just apply to my in-laws, this was just the first time I've ever felt pressure to participate. What is the deal with the day after Thanksgiving shopping? As you can probably see from the time on this post, it is the wee hours of Friday morning... that's right... we were in the stores at midnight for these "Day After Thanksgiving Sales". My sister-in-law stood in line in Ralph Lauren for over an hour to save $150 (I think she bought three outfits for the kids). The question that I had to ask myself was: "Is this worth it?" The crowds, the loss of sleep, the headache (did I mention that I got a splitting headache in our last store?) Is all of that worth saving money on clothes?

I know. A lot of girls like to shop. For them it's exciting. If we were out getting awesome deals on electronics or movies or something cool, I'd probably be singing a different tune right now. But I'm still not sure that I'll ever submit myself to that again.

Happy Thanksgiving! I pray that this year God blesses you with even more to be thankful for than He did last year. Ladies; enjoy your shopping, I'm going to enjoy my sleep.

Goodbye Lloyd

2007-11-20T22:42:00.000-06:00

It's true... it's true. Coach Lloyd Carr has stepped down from his head coach role at the University of Michigan. The Wolverines have a losing record against an Ohio State University under Carr, so we all knew that this was comming. You just can't lose the big games. There were a lot of things that he did well, recruting and player retention for example. But no matter how amazing of a team he was able to put together he could always find a way to lose the big games. I've spent a lot of time defending Lloyd to my friends; but this year not even I could defend him. So say goodbye to the Carr era and I'll be in touch when I know more about who we are saying hello to.

Retreat (in retrospect)

2007-11-18T17:59:00.000-06:00

This weekend was great for several reasons. First, I was able to lose contact with the outside world for the whole retreat. My phones both got shut off for the weekend. Some people took off their watches for the weekend, for others it was good enough just to get away from TV and video games. But the majority of the people on retreat used it as a chance to escape from something, and it felt great.

Second, I was able to be a guy. Yeah, I know. I'm always a guy. But I don't get a lot of opportunities celebrate my manhood. Between football and paintball and tomfoolery in general, I feeling very much like a guy. I'm also feeling old. My knee is killing me and I haven't been sore all over like this in a very long time.

Lastly, it was an amazing spiritual experience. I think that we were all forced to look into our relationship with God in relationship to our relationship with the world. It was pretty awesome. I always feel closer to God while I'm out in nature like that, so I feel refreshed; even in my pain.

Tomorrow I'm leaving for Florida. I plan on keeping in touch. So check in. I'll be sure to tell you about the soon to be inlaws, Thanksgiving, and any thing else that happens to come up while I'm there.

Retreat

2007-11-15T10:07:00.000-06:00

I'm excited. This weekend is Fall Retreat. When I was in high school, retreats were all about structured time and big long services. I had a good time. They probably changed my life. This isn't going to be that kind of retreat.

The word "retreat" carries a couple of definitions. The first would be running from danger... probably doesn't apply here. The second would be "a relaxing getaway," which is much more appropriate for what we're going to do.

No one has to do anything until the first dialog time, at 11:00. Then everyone will be free again, to do whatever, until 7:00 for the second dialog. If someone needs to sleep 22 hours a day, they will totally be able to do that.

For people like me, who like to stay entertained, there is a paintball course, zip line, unlimited trails to run, and a TV with TiVo so that we can catch the Michigan Ohio State game after the fact. I'll be letting ya'll know how it goes when we get back.

Definition

2007-11-11T13:20:00.000-06:00

What defines you? Steve asked the youth group this question this morning. When I was between the ages of 14 and 18 there was no way that I could have answered this question. Not honestly, at least. I would have said something like, "I'm an athlete." or "I'm the youth pastor's son." Pretty lame and shallow. Are we born into who we are? Does the world make us who we are? Or do we choose who we are?

Today I know how I'm defined, but I'm not convinced that it's a thing that defines me. It's not like I can be boiled down, and defined. At my core, I know that I'm a people pleaser, and the rest of "who I am" grows off of that. I'm a counselor, because people pleasers want to help people, but I'm selfish, because I know that I'm a people pleaser, and you can only be selfless for so long before you go crazy. So, I can be defined as two opposing things. Take away helping people all day, and I wouldn't be so selfish (though I wouldn't be so happy either). Did God make me a people pleaser or did my parents teach me to be one? I'm pretty sure that I didn't choose to be this way.

The students identified things like video games and cell phones as being what defines them. Can we really be defined by objects? If we are, how sad is that? I would hope that we're defined by something more.

Regrets

2007-11-05T19:20:00.000-06:00

That's how Satan really gets to me. Reminds me of my failures and my regrets. "Remember when you said that, Rob!?" "Man, you really blew it there!"

Most of the time I really just don't care; but every once and a while he really gets me with one. I don't feel comfortable enough to share my insecurities with the whole Internet... sorry. But maybe you struggle with the same things. A relationship that you should have held on to, but you let it go. A time when you should have helped, but hurt instead. A time when you should have been strong, but you were weak. Yeah, it sucks.

A tiny little part of me wants to tell you what is bothering me tonight. Maybe it would help you when you're feeling this way. Maybe my regret would make yours look better. Like; "wow, at least I'm not as bad as that guy." But the truth is that you would probably think that it's insignificant; that I'm lame for even worrying about it. That's just the way of things. Our problems always seem way worse than our neighbor's.

I guess that this post isn't going to help anyone feel better about what they're beating themselves up over. Hopefully it makes you feel less alone though.

Follow Up

2007-11-05T13:26:00.000-06:00

The weekend lived up to expectations. The University of Michigan Wolverines pulled out a big victory against Michigan State. The Patriots pulled out a tough one against the Colts. Andy was in town to celebrate his 28th birthday. And I had a good time with friends in Chicago.

We went to the Flattop Grill before going to see Weapon of Mass Impact, the play that Richard's dad was in. Good food and a good, thought provoking, play followed by a long night of great conversation. Tom, Adam, Richard, Steve; we need to do that more often. Anyone else who loves theological dialog, make sure that you come to Tom's next play. I'll be there.

Hope your weekend was as nice as mine. Why don't ya tell me about it?

Are You Ready For Some Football?

2007-11-03T13:57:00.000-06:00

Wow! What a weekend! Michigan vs Michigan State today. Patriots vs Colts tomorrow. I hope that you're all as excited as I am.

Richard and Kari were over to hang out last night. This afternoon we're going to go up to Chicago to see Richard's dad, Tom, in a play, Weapon of Mass Impact. Tomorrow my family is going to be celebrating my brother's birthday (Andy will be 28).

So there ya have it. This is a good weekend. I hope that yours is at least this good.

Feed My Sheep

2007-10-29T14:01:00.000-06:00

Those of you who know me well know that I struggle with depression. Today I'm home from work because I just couldn't do it anymore today. Sometimes it gets like this. Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed with it that I can't see past it to do my job. I was sitting outside with Boe, just talking to God. Asking Him to help me through. I was struck by the scripture where Paul asks God to take his thorn from him. We don't know what that thorn is; some have guessed lust or some other addiction, but I think that what the thorn is is irrelevant. God's response was classic. II Corinthians 12:9; "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." The point is not that I will feel this power during my weakness but that God's power will become perfect during said weakness.

We all have weakness. My clients get weak and hurt themselves. My youth group kids become weak and seek out worldly pleasures to get through. I get weak and I separate myself from the world. Everyone shows the symptoms of their weakness (or hide them). I can't ask anyone to quit their "coping skills." To stop doing what they do to deal with their own weakness. Maybe you think that you're alone. The Church would tell you that you're never alone because Christ is always with you... but I've felt alone, even when I knew that Christ was with me. Even the thought that I'm not the only one who has gone through this, and that there are others struggling with the same things that I am, doesn't help much.

Honestly. During our times of weakness, there isn't much that will make us feel strong. Maybe because it isn't our strength. God didn't say that our strength would be made perfect, just that His would be. What helped me today was remembering Jesus' weak disciples. Peter became so weak that he denied that he even knew Jesus. He denied Christ three times during the time that Jesus needed him the most. When Jesus next encountered Peter (aka - Simon) he asked him three times "do you love me?" Three times Peter responded "you know I love you." And three times Christ told him "Feed my sheep." (John 21:15-19)

See. God doesn't expect us to be strong all the time. He expects us to be weak. Jesus didn't cuss out Peter for denying Him during His final hours. He knew that Peter loved Him. Peter was just weak. But He didn't back down either. Christ has called us to feed his sheep. For me, right now, that means getting back to work tomorrow and continuing to show His love to my clients. For my youth group kids, it means getting back up and keeping their eyes on Christ. All that Jesus wants is for us to follow him, even in our weakness. Keeping my focus on that ultimate goal helps me to maintain some semblance of hope in my weakness. I hope that it helps you.

Sorry Ladies

2007-10-27T16:59:00.000-06:00

It was bound to happen eventually. I've had some requests to give the thrilling account; so here ya go.

Thursday, October 25, 2007.
Ami was going to come over for dinner around 6:00, I was able to get out of work by 4:30. So I rushed home and started the coals for the thick juicy steaks. I seasoned the steaks. I got the green beans cooking in a garlic pepper mixture. I preheated the oven for the rolls. I lit sixteen candles around the dinner table. The plan was coming together perfectly. Then she calls... I play it off like "I thought that I would cook us a couple of steaks for dinner." She's like "That sounds great. I really want some homemade Shells and Cheese." FOILED! She is the one who knows how to make the shells and cheese. So I get the pasta shells cooking for her, and get out the other ingredients that she needed. I met her at the door and informed her that I would be so smooth if it wasn't for her shells and cheese. She was so happy to have a candle lit dinner, that was almost waiting for her when she got here.
Dinner was very nice (romantic, I think is the word). We sat and talked for a while after dinner. I got up and took care of the dishes. Came back to her and told her that I got her a surprise. She asked what. I kissed her and told her that I got her a kiss. :-) She acted happy to have received a kiss. Then I told her that I got her something else, and I pulled her toward the living room. I stopped her at the head of the table, where most of the candles were, got down on my knee and said "I got you a ring. Will you marry me?" She got all excited and totally forgot to answer me. So I asked her "Is that a yes..." She said "YES!"
The rest of the night is a blur of phone calls and running around town letting everyone we could find know. So, here we go. Bachelor party anyone?

Kids and Sports

2007-10-27T07:41:00.000-06:00

I went to my 15 year old cousin's hockey game last night. For those of us who are "in the know" about hockey, we know that hockey fans are some of the most intense fans out there. My cousin plays for the younger traveling team out of Lansing Michigan, the older team was in the stands with the rest of us watching the younger one. Hockey is a fast and physical sport, and this was a pretty intense game (it was the top Michigan team taking on the top Illinois team). Going into the third period the Capitals (my cousin's team) were down 3-2, but they were on a power play (the other team was a man down due to a penalty). Things were getting even more physical, and cheap shots were being taken by each team, and the older team was getting really animated; they were cussing at the refs and taunting the other team. Parents from the IL team responded to this by cussing out the MI parents. "Keep your f*cking kids under control or I'll come over there and kick their *ss myself!" and things similar to this. Is it any surprise that kids think that it's okay to cuss out officials and get into fights with their peers because of disagreements? I heard that a parent at a recent high school football game rushed the field and attacked an opposing player.

Are we putting too much pressure on teen athletes? Are we being poor examples for our kids? Probably yes to both. When I was playing high school football I used the field as a place to let out my anger; sort of bottled it up all week and released it on Fridays. So, in a way, I understand the importance of aggression in sports. I also understand how important it is for young athletes to have supportive parents. At what point does showing your support and defending your children become teaching them to be bullies? I don't want my children to be pushovers, but I don't want them to push over others either. I want to defend my children with out teaching them that it's okay to fight. I know that this is going to be a difficult balance to maintain. I want my kids to be athletes if that's what they're into. (It's what I'm into, so I guess that I'm assuming that they will be.) I've been told that I'll be a good parent some day, I pray so. But how do you keep that balance?

"Why is this so important to you, Robbie? You don't have kids." Stay tuned, I'll post that soon.

Book Club - Week 1

2007-10-23T19:56:00.000-06:00

For the senior high book club we are reading Messy Spirituality, by Lee Stroble. It's not exactly the type of theology that I read in college, but it's pretty refreshing to see the teen tackle some of these ideas. Mainly the idea that our imperfect lives are "the greenhouse of faith." Listening to them discuss how Noah was God's faithful servent and an alcoholic and how that relates to their life was great. I would encourage everyone to get involved with teens in their community; they're the coolest!

Changes

2007-10-21T13:46:00.000-06:00

So, I have been having a really hard time keeping up with a sight that is only dedicated to my artings. I guess that I just don't art enough anymore. Kinda sad, really.

But now I will be posting random thoughts, issues, or news from my life here, as well as my arting, as they happen. Hope that my one or two readers that I still have will be okay with this.

More to come.

Style

2007-05-12T06:57:00.000-06:00

As you know, I am rarely satisfied with my work. This is another wonderful example of me not being satisfied with a painting. Some one who has taken an interest in my art came to me with an idea for a painting that she would like, and this is the final product. She loves it, so I guess that I'm happy in that respect. But it isn't a style that is natural to me, so it felt forced and I was never that happy with the final result. The little people remind me of the AIM guy :-). This painting is currently on display at a private residence, in Peotone, IL.

Odd Mood

2007-04-06T21:57:00.000-06:00

This is a picture that I took last spring, then I played around with it on the computer. I have not completed any art recently, and I'm not a fan of showing partially finished work, so I'll try to post some of my older art type stuff. This is really odd for me, because spring is usually the most productive part of my artistic year. I apologize for my odd mood. Please trust that I am working on getting back into the swing of spring.

River

2007-03-19T19:10:00.000-06:00

This is the only oil painting that I have ever finished all in one sitting; probably because I never got back to it so it stayed as is. I was bored one night (before I got cable) and so I sat down and painted this. It is based off of a picture that I took on the trails in Parry Farm, back when I was in college. It's currently hidden away in storage.

Dancing Girls

2007-03-13T19:35:00.000-06:00

This is the first painting where I attempted to paint people. The second oil painting that I ever did. These are the two flower girls that were supposed to be in my wedding, only one was able to because my ex-wife's family loves drama. I'm not entirely sure why I chose to keep this painting, when I either painted over or didn't take any of the other paintings that had anything to do with that period of my life.

Looking at this piece now, I can criticise it and see all of the things that I did poorly. But for some reason it has a special place in my heart. Probably because these girls represent a time before all the drama really started in my life. Any way, I regress. This painting is currently on display in my "office."

Escape

2007-02-27T21:51:00.000-06:00

This is one of the few water color paintings that I have done and still have in my possession. Unfortunately most of them (along with a bunch of my best early oil paintings) were lost in my divorce. I guess that I was thinking of pirates when I painted this, I appear to have done it shortly after Pirates of the Carribian came out (I like movies). This shot wouldn't have been during the all too popular plundering sequence of pirateing, but after that, when they just would have been chillin' til the heat was off. This is currently hidden away in storage, with a bunch of my early work. I will be pulling some of that out along this journey, but most of my early artings will remain hidden until I'm dead and my family needs to sell it to make ends meet. :-)

Norma Jean

2007-02-24T15:46:00.000-06:00

She was brought up as Norma Jean, but became better known as Marilyn Monroe. This is a graphite drawing that I did last summer when I first discovered that she did modeling prior to getting big. I'm not a big Marilyn fan, but before Hollywood ruined her she was innocent and beautiful. I guess this is who I would prefer to remember her as. This drawing is currently on display in my office.

Bamboo

2007-02-21T17:33:00.000-06:00

I go through an oriental phase every once and a while. During this time around I started doing yoga and painted these. They make me feel relaxed and tranquil, which may be synonyms. These are currently on display in my living room.

Current Projects

2007-02-20T22:13:00.000-06:00

This new web sight is the latest of my projects. I hope that lots of people choose to tune in. I will be posting pictures of current projects that I'm working on, past projects that I have done, other people's art that I like, and other artistic stuff that I find entertaining. Please feel free to place comments or send me an e-mail, to critique my art, place bids on finished paintings, or contract me for work you would like me to do for you.

I am currently working on a painting that I'm hoping is a defining piece for me. It's still way to early for me to post any pictures, so this kinda goes against my purpose (already), but I though my loyal audience would be interested in my current projects. It is an oil painting of Eve in the garden receiving the fruit. Tune in later to catch the first glimpses of this painting.

Apple's Death

2007-02-20T17:45:00.000-06:00

This is a painting that I did for mother's day. I gave it to my mom a bit late; since I'm never fully satisfied with my art and take as long as physically possible. That goes for this painting too (even though I worked on it for a full month), I like it, but I can always see things that I would have liked to have more time on. For example, this was painted over a partially finished picture of my ex-wife posing by a tree, I can still see the outline of the tree in the background. It is currently on display in my mom's dinning room in Michigan.